Things Isabel has taught us, so far...

So in this journey to have Isabel, I have learned several things I wouldn't have learned if I haven't been Isabel's Mommy. Here is a list of lessons I have learned that I would like to pass on to you.

1. The saying "God does not give you any trials you can not handle" does NOT mean that God will not give you a trial that will be harder then you think you can handle. All that means is He will package your trails in a way that makes it easier for you to handle. It is up to you to see He has done this. In this case, I didn't think after all the infertility problems we had and that I could handle losing a child. But after talking to people that lost their babies without warning, I realized that God gave us a very special gift in letting us know that our time was short and allowing us to plan for the event.
2. Seriously, worry more about whether your baby is healthy and not what sex it is. I know we always say this, but we don't really think about it until we are having a baby that isn't healthy. I know I always said "as long as it is healthy," but what I really meant "as long as it is a girl." I realize that now. To all of those people who are having or will have healthy children, focus more on what a blessing you have because your baby is healthy and not because it is one sex or the other.

Here are some things I have learned that do NOT comfort a grieving family...

1. "She will be in a better place" or "She didn't need to be tried." Yes, I know that the Celestial Kingdom is a billion times better than Earth, but to a grieving parent, you are also saying that the child was better off not being raised by that parent. I know that sounds ridiculous, but every grieving parent I have talked to says the same thing. Please, don't tell a grieving parent either of these things.
2. "You are young, you will have more children." This comment stings in two ways. (1) I don't want another baby, I want Isabel. She is real to me now and she will never be replaced bay any other child. She was our precious baby. This comment makes us think that you don't see her that way. (2) Some people can't have kids willy nilly. Mark and I went through a lot to get us here, including fertility drugs. There is no guarantee to us that we can have another one.
3. "You should hurry up and have another one." I don't need family planning advice from anyone. The part that kills me about this comment is that it is always giving to us by people that don't know us, like people from our ward. Seriously, it is none of your business.
4. "You will get to raise her." I know this, but I can't see that far ahead right now. All I know is that I want to raise her now. Besides, I look at people and think, "You get to have your kids here and there. Who are you to tell me that my situation is better than yours?"
5. "I have an idea of how you feel because I know someone else who had a baby die" or "I can imagine how you feel." Um, no, you really can't. I know I sound mean, but you don't. I used to think I could imagine too, but you really can't until it is your baby. And you have no idea how you will react to the situation either, so don't judge people by the way they handle things. The way we are handling this situation is right for us and no one can possibly know how we feel.

This post may seem like a lot of "poor me" comments, but I think that everyone should know about these lessons. Besides, you are my captive audience. :)